Just had an appointment with my amazing GYN. She is trying to help me figure out what exactly happened with my not holding a pregnancy. We did test results, have one more tests to do to see what is happening.
Well I was able to look up my lab results before my GYN is able to see them. According to all of the results, things are normal. I get to wait the weekend to get her next suggestion and have the Ultrasound done. Once I have the US done, I think we will know what exactly is going on. If there is really nothing wrong with me then it is time to change for good.
What needs to change?? Many things. . .
How long I sit down each day.
- I have a desk job. Time to have that be my only sitting time of the day.
What food/drink I consume.
- Earlier this year I got some help from a great friend on what I need to do to become healthy. She had her boyfriend create a weekly workout routine and tell me how I need to eat each day. For the menu each day was easy, just have to think about it. I can whatever I want for breakfast but for the rest of the day I can only eat clean. Though I cannot have eggs or fruit after noon. Afternoon I can only have veggies and protein. I also have to still watch my portion sizes.
- Will STOP all soda.
Workout everyday.
- I have been trying to workout everyday in some way. There are times that I would rather be lazy and stay in bed.
It is time to have the will to take control and succeed for once in my life!!!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Wills?
Will I ever go thru pregnancy again?
Will I ever get the chance to deliver a baby the natural way?
Will I have the baby boy I having been dreaming of?
Will I just have miscarriages for the rest of my life?
Will the night anxiety go away?
Will Natalie stop asking for a brother or sister?
Will I be able to give my daughter the sibling she wants?
Will I be successful at losing the weight I need too?
The questions I have that wish could be answered. These are hard to have answered.
I am a lazy person, in which I am trying to overcome. To overcome my laziness, I will be able to accomplish some of these. Not much but some. There is a sense of loneliness in this endeavor. No one can help me do everything, I need to do it myself. I hate being alone but yet I love my "me" time. I see others life and family time and it seems that they have it all together. Ton of friends, busy all the time, never being alone and succeeding in everything they do. I do have envy for these people at times.
My main concern is having another child. I want to have 4 kids but at this point in time it doesn't seem to be going that way. I was able to conceive Natalie in one month, so easily. Now it has been almost 2 years that we have been trying. We have had one major miscarriage and 4 chemical pregnancies. I am emotionally drained with this. I have had theories that I need to lose some weight to conceive again. I have done okay for a little while but now it is getting harder and harder to stay on task with the weight loss. It is like I have no drive to get where I want to be. Mentally I do not think that it is possible for me to get there. So it is easy to give up. I need a major support system. Yes, my friends and family support me but I need someone or something to fuel me to get it done now. Not support me and then stop because life gets busy. Is there anyone out there that can do that?
Time for a major change, more than any other time before.
Will I ever get the chance to deliver a baby the natural way?
Will I have the baby boy I having been dreaming of?
Will I just have miscarriages for the rest of my life?
Will the night anxiety go away?
Will Natalie stop asking for a brother or sister?
Will I be able to give my daughter the sibling she wants?
Will I be successful at losing the weight I need too?
The questions I have that wish could be answered. These are hard to have answered.
I am a lazy person, in which I am trying to overcome. To overcome my laziness, I will be able to accomplish some of these. Not much but some. There is a sense of loneliness in this endeavor. No one can help me do everything, I need to do it myself. I hate being alone but yet I love my "me" time. I see others life and family time and it seems that they have it all together. Ton of friends, busy all the time, never being alone and succeeding in everything they do. I do have envy for these people at times.
My main concern is having another child. I want to have 4 kids but at this point in time it doesn't seem to be going that way. I was able to conceive Natalie in one month, so easily. Now it has been almost 2 years that we have been trying. We have had one major miscarriage and 4 chemical pregnancies. I am emotionally drained with this. I have had theories that I need to lose some weight to conceive again. I have done okay for a little while but now it is getting harder and harder to stay on task with the weight loss. It is like I have no drive to get where I want to be. Mentally I do not think that it is possible for me to get there. So it is easy to give up. I need a major support system. Yes, my friends and family support me but I need someone or something to fuel me to get it done now. Not support me and then stop because life gets busy. Is there anyone out there that can do that?
Time for a major change, more than any other time before.
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